What I Wish for You…

What I wish for you is that you would hold out for the kinds of relationships where you feel really seen, and met, and held, and understood. Wait for those, and consider un-investing in the ones where you don’t feel that way.

Hold out for the people who listen to you closely… the people who want to listen to you… the people who just naturally listen to you.

A person who is a good fit for you will want to know what you do and don’t want. You might say, “I might want to have sex right now, but I’m not sure, so can we just kiss for a few minutes and then I’ll see how I feel?” A person who is a good fit for you will love that you just said that, because they want you to be true to yourself.

Hold out for these relationships. Sometimes you may have to give up on one or two or ten or even twenty different new relationships before you find the relationship(s) that are a natural and healthy fit. That’s okay.

Everyone I know who has continued to invest in unhealthy relationships, as they age, has found themselves in still-unhealthy relationships. Those who have “curated” their relationships, spent time on the healthy ones, and spent less time or even ended the unhealthy ones, are settling into their older years with secure connections to people who truly and wholeheartedly love them.

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No advice is perfect for every situation. Want help figuring out your own life and relationships? I offer relationship coaching from a gentle, never dogmatic, trauma-informed, Relationship Anarchist perspective. I do all of my sessions through Zoom or by phone. If you’re interested, click on over to my Coaching page to see if we’re a good fit.